I grew up Baptist, and even spent my teens and early twenties convinced I was called to be a pastor. In the last few years, I’ve struggled greatly with my faith, and have at times wondered if I’m already “de-converted,” and just didn’t want to accept it. While writing this song didn’t really confirm or debunk that fear, it was helpful to get it out onto paper, so to speak.
lyrics
I can hear myself repeating
Questions that used to be answered
Nagging at the corners of my mind
It’s just a feeling
But things aren’t the way I remember
Feels like I might have crossed a line
So I keep asking myself
Lord have mercy, am I a convert?
I can’t see the light
Don’t wanna feel like a liar any longer
I’m trying so hard to believe this
They say faith and logic don’t mesh well
So how can I trust the things I’ve heard?
Does anybody see this?
I keep hearing I’m not that special
So why does nobody else seem that concerned?
Last night I cried
My eyes were open
I tried, I lied
I swear I believe, I just don’t know if I can last
Sometimes my mind
Feels like it’s broken
So I just hide
Help my unbelief or I might not be coming back
Post-punk meets a very classic alt-rock sound on the new record from this Chicago group. RIYL The Breeders, Dinosaur Jr, and Yo La Tengo. Bandcamp New & Notable May 4, 2024
Psychedelia at its most fundamental, the new EP from pôt-pot is equal parts Velvet Underground, BJM, and hypnotic vibes. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 30, 2024
Re-live the rip-roaring, hooky-as-hell punk rock of The Hissyfits with this new collection, which compiles their first two cassettes. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 30, 2024
Recorded at home, Six Organs of Admittance's 21st album upholds Ben Chasny's reputation for experimental psych-folk excellence. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 25, 2024
Keith Richards, Rosanne Cash, Lucinda Williams, Joan Jett, and more pay tribute to the enduring and visionary music of Lou Reed. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 23, 2024